When you focus on your pain you legitimise it and give it purpose. Your energy flows where your attention goes. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I choose the narrative I live out. Just because something happened a certain way in the past, I can choose not to walk in the path of a similar outcome. Focused thought on past events keeps the pain alive, it also stops you living in the moment.

The pictures you see are the pictures you will be!

Power over others is weakness disguised as strength. True power is within you and allows you to celebrate others strengths.

We are created to live in the present, the now. We can’t hold onto the past, like that frames who we are. We can’t look to the future as the place where we reach our dreams. We live in the now. If you no longer want to create pain for yourself and others, if you no longer want to hold onto the residue of the past pain that lives on in you. We don’t need live through memory and anticipation. Stop thinking about it! We think the past gives us identity and the future gives us fulfilment. You must realise that this present moment is all you have, so make the most of it. Empty your mind of the worry of tomorrow, let go of past events and be present in the moment.

Every addiction arises from an unconscious action to cover up our pain. We are using the wrong reasoning. We say we do what we do to hide the pain and unhappiness, the reality is that they bring out the pain that is already inside us. This pain only exists because we focus our thoughts around it, giving the pain life. It happens in relationships, we want our partner to complete us. When our partner behaves in a way that fails to meet our needs, it exposes the pain that was already there. At this point healing only comes from within, but most of us react by attacking our partner in the hope this will bring there behaviour into alignment so it covers the pain. Then we think about it, focus our energy around what happened. We then relive the pain emotionally. If you cannot be at ease with yourself when you are alone, you will seek a relationship to cover it up.

Live on purpose, be in the moment.

I read this recently: Imagine you were born in 1900. When you are 14, World War I starts and ends on your 18th birthday with 22 million people killed. Later in the year, a Spanish Flu epidemic hits the planet and runs until you are 20. Fifty million people die from it in those two years. Yes, 50 million.

When you’re 29, the Great Depression begins. Unemployment hits 25%, global GDP drops 27%. That runs until you are 33.

When you turn 39, World War II starts. You aren’t even over the hill yet, between your 39th and 45th birthday, 75 million people perish in the war and the Holocaust kills six million.

Approaching your 62nd birthday you have the Cuban Missile Crisis, a tipping point in the Cold War. Life on our planet, as we know it, could well have ended.

Think of everyone born in 1900. How did they survive all of that?

Perspective is an amazing art and whilst life is tough for many of us right now let’s try and keep things in perspective. Let’s try to find the positives, let’s help each other in whatever way we can, together we will get through this.

Just remember in the history of the world, there has never been a storm that lasted, this to will pass.

Basil Reynolds

Coaching Consultant

Finding the Music Inside